(Described by a Former Bikini Waxer)
When it comes to the vulva, there is no stock-standard normal. Just like every other part of the human body, vulvas differ from person to person. Vulvas come in different sizes, different colours, and different shapes. The one thing all vulvas have in common is that they are all equally beautiful. So, in appreciation of every individual type, size, colour, and shape of vulva, let’s shine a light on the wonderful world of vulvas starting with five different types.
What are the different types of vulvas?
Despite every vulva having its own unique features, according to a former bikini waxer by the name of Mel (whose real name shall remain hidden under terms of anonymity), there are five distinct categories of vulvas that all women will fall into in one way or another. Mel’s descriptions are to be used strictly as a guide only. If your vulva doesn’t fit perfectly into one of Mel’s categories, don’t be alarmed. Be proud and own that individuality, girl!
Ms. Barbie is the “ideal” vision of a vulva that most people imagine. The inner lips (labia minora) are contained in a neat package of outer lips (labia majora), with both sets of lips resting pretty upon the pelvic bone. A rare sight to behold, ironically Mel says Ms. Barbie is the most uncommon type of vulva to seat cheeks upon her waxing room chair. Are you surprised?
A real delight, Ms. Curtains features a reveal of the inner lips down past the outer lips. Depending on the individual, inner lips may take a leading role and stick out a lot, or humbly accept a side-role and stick out a little. According to bikini waxer, Mel, Ms. Curtains is arguably the most common type of vulva, and we wholeheartedly adore (and applaud) her.
Sounds cute, looks cute. Not to be fooled with Ms. Barbie, Ms. Puffs is a vulva with lips that sit a little lower on the pubic bone. Lips may be fuller and puffier, or thin and loose. Mel says that while the characteristics of Ms. Puffs may be confused with age or weight, there is absolutely no correlation. In our opinion, with a Ms. Puffs between your legs, there’s simply more to love.
How’s Ms. Horseshoe for a vulva with luck on her side? If you can imagine the shape of a horseshoe in your mind you’re halfway there because Ms. Horseshoe is exactly that. The opening of the vulva spans wider at the top to reveal the inner lips, but in an enticing twist, Ms. Horseshoe touches and closes off towards the southern end. The inner lips remain enclosed in the outer lips.
A vulva of the tulip variety features slightly exposed inner lips through the entire length of the outer lips. Just like a flower bud on the verge of bloom, the inner lips are exposed yet contained, forming a tulip-shaped box. Fun fact: tulip flowers are edible, so if there’s any correlation, we bet you’ll have no trouble guessing the type of sexual act Ms. Tulip owners enjoy the most (wink wink).