There’s no bigger sexual buzzkill than a sudden urge to pee when things are heating up in the bedroom. Whether that need-to-pee feeling causes a sexual halt or a mighty feat of mind-control to maintain your urinary floodgates, worrying that your bladder is on the cusp of a mid-coitus spray is the worst. So, if you’re familiar with the feeling of needing to pee during sex and often unsure whether it’s pee, an orgasm, or urinary incontinence, we’re here to break it down.
Understanding the female urinary system
The female urinary system is a complex network of organs, muscles, and nerves working together to eliminate waste products and excess fluids from the body. The primary organs involved in this system are the kidneys, ureters, bladder, and urethra.
The kidneys are two bean-shaped organs in the lower back, on either side of the spine. They are responsible for filtering waste and excess fluids from the blood, producing urine, and regulating electrolyte balance in the body.
The ureters are two thin tubes that connect the kidneys to the bladder. They transport urine from the kidneys to the bladder through peristaltic contractions.
The bladder is a hollow muscular organ located in the pelvis, which stores urine until it is ready to be eliminated from the body. The bladder can expand and contract to accommodate varying volumes of urine.
The urethra is a thin tube that connects the bladder to the outside of the body. In females, the urethra is shorter than in males and is located just above the vaginal opening. This makes females more susceptible to urinary tract infections (UTIs) due to the closeness of the urethra to the anus.
The female urinary system also includes a network of muscles and nerves that work together to control urine flow. For example, the pelvic floor muscles play an important role in maintaining continence and preventing involuntary urine leakage.
The connection between sexual arousal and urination
The relationship between sexual arousal and urination is a topic that has long fascinated researchers and women everywhere. While many women may find it embarrassing or uncomfortable to talk about, the reality is that peeing during sexual intercourse is a relatively common occurrence, especially among women.
One of the primary reasons for this is the proximity of the urethra to the clitoris and vagina. During sexual arousal, increased blood flow to these areas can put pressure on the bladder, resulting in a sensation of needing to urinate. Additionally, the muscles of the pelvic floor, which play a crucial role in urinary control, can become relaxed during sexual arousal, further increasing the likelihood of urinary leakage or urgency.
Is it a need to pee, or is it an orgasm?
If you’re unsure whether you’re coming or going when having sex, you’re not alone. Many women hold off on reaching the point of orgasm, fearing they’re about to release an unwanted golden shower. That’s because the feeling of peeing is similar to an orgasm.
On top of that, female ejaculation can be confused with urination. When caught in a potentially wet and sticky situation, our best advice is to wait it out a little when you feel the sensation of peeing. Chances are you could be on the verge of a mind-blowing orgasm, and we wouldn’t want you getting in the way of that.
How to tell the difference between urinary urgency and incontinence
Urinary urgency and incontinence are related yet distinct concepts. Urinary urgency refers to the sudden, strong need to urinate that cannot be postponed, while urinary incontinence refers to involuntary urine leakage.
Urinary urgency can be caused by various factors, such as urinary tract infections, bladder inflammation, nerve damage, and certain medications. It can also be a symptom of an overactive bladder, a condition in which the bladder muscles contract involuntarily and cause sudden urges to urinate.
On the other hand, urinary incontinence can be caused by weak pelvic floor muscles, nerve damage, certain medications, and conditions that obstruct urine flow. It can also be a symptom of an overactive bladder or an underlying medical condition, such as urinary tract infections.
To tell the difference between urinary urgency and incontinence, pay attention to the timing and frequency of the symptoms. If the urge to urinate is sudden and strong, but there is no urine leakage, it is likely urinary urgency. If, on the other hand, there is leakage of urine associated with the sudden urge to urinate, then it is likely urinary incontinence.
Remember that urinary urgency and incontinence can coexist, and many women with overactive bladder syndrome experience both symptoms. If you are experiencing either of these symptoms, speaking with a healthcare provider for proper diagnosis and treatment is important.
The role of the pelvic floor muscles during sexual activity
The pelvic floor muscles play an important role in sexual activity for women. These muscles, also known as the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles, help to support the pelvic organs and provide a stable base for sexual activity. They also play a role in controlling bladder and bowel function.
During sexual arousal and intercourse, the pelvic floor muscles help to increase blood flow to the genital area, contributing to the engorgement of the clitoris in women. The muscles also help to increase sensitivity and enhance sexual pleasure by contracting rhythmically during orgasm.
In women, the pelvic floor muscles help to support the uterus, bladder, and rectum and can help to prevent urinary incontinence and prolapse. Strengthening these muscles can also enhance sexual function by improving vaginal tone and sensitivity.
Kegel exercises, which involve contracting and relaxing the pelvic floor muscles, are often recommended to improve sexual function in women. Strengthening these muscles can lead to improved sexual sensations, stronger orgasms, and better control over ejaculation and orgasm.
Factors that increase urinary urgency during sex
Urinary urgency during sex can be caused by several factors, including:
- Inflammation or infection: Inflammation or infection of the bladder or urethra can cause urinary urgency and discomfort during sex.
- Overactive bladder: A condition in which the bladder muscles contract involuntarily and cause sudden urges to urinate, can be exacerbated during sexual activity.
- Vaginal dryness: In women, vaginal dryness can cause discomfort and irritation during sex, leading to urinary urgency.
- Interstitial cystitis: Interstitial cystitis is a chronic bladder condition that can cause urinary urgency and pain during sex.
- Certain medications: Certain medications, such as diuretics, can increase urine production and lead to urinary urgency during sex.
- Anxiety or stress: Anxiety or stress can cause increased muscle tension and lead to urinary urgency during sex.
It is important to speak with a healthcare provider if you are experiencing urinary urgency during sex, as they can help identify the underlying cause and provide appropriate treatment. Treatment options may include medication, pelvic floor exercises, or other therapies, depending on the underlying health issue.
Tips for managing urinary urgency during intimacy
Urinary urgency during intimacy can be a challenging issue, but some strategies may help to manage the symptoms:
Get to know your vagina
Spend some time alone getting to know yourself (the vagina, g-spot, clitoris – the whole shebang). Whether with fingers or toys, masturbation will open a world of possibilities to help you grasp your body’s limits when it comes to female orgasm, female ejaculation and whether the sensations you’re feeling are linked to peeing. If you’re unsure, find out how often women should masturbate.
Empty the bladder before sex
Urinating before sexual activity can help to reduce the amount of urine in the bladder and decrease the risk of urinary urgency.
Use a lubricant
Using a water-based lubricant can help to reduce friction and irritation during sex, which can decrease the risk of urinary urgency.
Mix it up with different sex positions
Mix up your sex positions and see what works best for your body, keeping in mind that rear-facing sex positions like doggy style are prone to put pressure on your lady parts.
Practice pelvic floor muscle exercises
Another way to help with this is to strengthen your pelvic muscles. Kegel exercises can add strength to your pelvic floor muscles, the muscles that support the organs in your pelvis, and the sphincter muscles that open and close when you urinate or have a bowel movement. Kegel exercises can have many benefits, including:
- improved bladder control
- improved faecal incontinence, which is involuntary bowel movements
- increased blood flow to sex organs and enhanced sexual pleasure
These pelvic floor muscle exercises can be done standing, sitting, or lying down, and they can be done at any time or place. It’s a good idea to empty your bladder before doing them.
To help locate your pelvic floor muscles, stop peeing midstream. The muscles you engage in pausing urination are the pelvic floor muscles. Once you’ve identified these muscles, tighten them when you’re not peeing, hold them for five seconds, and then relax. Don’t clench your abs, leg, or butt muscles. The relaxing part is important, too. Muscles function by contracting and relaxing. Work up to a goal of 20 at a time, three to four times a day, and tighten your pelvic floor muscles for five seconds at a time.
Avoid bladder irritants
Certain substances, such as caffeine, alcohol, and acidic foods, can irritate the bladder and increase the risk of urinary urgency. Avoiding these substances before sexual activity may help to reduce symptoms.
Talk to a healthcare provider
If urinary urgency during intimacy is a persistent problem, speaking with a healthcare provider may be helpful. They can help identify the underlying cause and provide appropriate treatment options, such as medication or behavioural therapies.
Many women can reduce or even eliminate urination during sex with lifestyle changes and Kegel exercises. If an underlying condition causes your incontinence, treating the condition may help reduce your incontinence.
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References:
- https://nafc.org/bhealth-blog/why-do-i-feel-like-i-need-to-pee-during-sex-3-ways-to-overcome-it/
- https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/how-do-i-know-if-i-came-or-accidentally-peed-during-sex
- https://www.healthline.com/health/peeing-during-sex
