Sex can be an incredible experience, leaving you feeling buzzy and fulfilled. But when it comes to two bodies getting naked, exchanging bodily fluids, twisting into multiple positions, aka bonking, the show isn’t going to run smoothly 100-percent of the time. In fact, there’s so much room for error – we guess that’s why sex ed was invented. So, if you’re mid-romp and something doesn’t quite feel right, or you’ve noticed post-coital vulva pain, it may be time to investigate exactly why your va-jay-jay is sore.

As usual, we’ve got your back (and your vulva, too), so we’re pointing you in the direction of six reasons your vagina could be sore after sex. Because if one thing is for sure, sex should never be painful (unless that’s your style of kink, and in that case have your safety word on standby).

The sex was too rough or fast

Oh, will somebody please think of the friction! Sure, a little sexual friction can be great, but too much friction is borderline disastrous. Friction caused by rough or fast sex can cause tiny tears within your precious vadge. Worst part – these tears can cause a stinging sensation when you pee, which is no fun at all.

For pain-free intercourse, calm the sexual shenanigans down a little.

Your partner is seriously well-endowed, or your toys are just too big

While porn stars like to sway our opinions into thinking bigger is better, it’s just not the case and there’s no shame in admitting that to yourself. When your partner’s penis is too large or you’re using toys that are a little ambitious for the job at hand, the penetration could be hitting your cervix. And, yep, that sounds just as painful as it sounds. Chances are you’ll know when your cervix is under attack and you’ll want out, pronto.

For pain-free intercourse, make friends with foreplay. Engaging in foreplay encourages your vagina to expand, which allows for deeper penetrative sex.

You’re not using enough lube

Your vagina is super capable of doing a lot of things for itself, but sometimes its self-lubrication levels aren’t on par with the length of your session or the number of positions you’re sampling. When your lady parts aren’t adequately lubed-up, the friction can cause tiny tears in your skin. These tears aren’t only painful, they also make your intimate area prone to infections.

For pain-free intercourse, use lube generously.

You have an infection

Bacterial vaginitis, herpes, chlamydia, and yeast infections are all conditions that can cause your vagina to be sore during and after sex. Infection signs to look out for include itching, burning, and abnormal discharge. If you notice them, it’s time to get your doctor on the phone.

For pain-free intercourse, avoid sex until you’ve visited your gynaecologist for personalised treatment options.

You weren’t sexually aroused

If you’re not in the mood to get nude and frisky, your vagina will sense it a mile off and simply not produce enough lubrication. If there’s one thing we’ve learned over the years, it’s that dry sex = painful friction.

For pain-free intercourse, don’t force sex to happen if you’re not feeling it – this is more than okay. If you just can’t get wet, go wild with the lube.

You have an allergy or sensitivity to latex

Yep, being allergic to condoms is totally a thing. So, if a condom-coated penis is entering your vagina and you have an allergy, there’s going to be a high chance of irritation.

For pain-free intercourse, chat to your doctor for confirmation of your allergy. Remember, there’s a plethora of birth control methods available. While condoms may not be the option for you, you may find another suitable birth control option at Youly.


This blog is designed to be informative and educational. It is not intended to provide specific medical advice or replace advice from your medical practitioner.